"When I first contacted Julie I was looking for a way to make my upcoming birth easier, less painful and scary. Basically, I saw a Doula as a way to make an unpleasant experience somewhat more tolerable. What I didn't know when I met Julie, was that I wasn't just signing up for a better birth experience, my whole view on birth would change! Julie taught me to view birth as an empowering and special moment that doesn't need to be scary or painful, as well as teaching me about the physical mechanics of birth and labour far more in depth than your usual hospital ante natal classes. I've been able to use that information and changed mindset positively in my own births, and as a friend of other mums-to-be.
I went into my birth experience with a wealth of knowledge thanks to Julie and knew how I was going to manage my labour. The support when we called Julie to come was amazing too, I was supported and helped to stay on track with my plan, and my husband was given the tools he needed to help me. Julie managed to, as well remind Ryan and I despite the nervous tension and discomfort what a special occasion it was. I will never forget that moment in the hallway when I was leaning on Ryan, rocking gently through a contraction with Julie's voice saying "this is your labour waltz."Julie's dedication was amazing as she stayed through the whole night with us, continuing in her support and comfort as the progress of my labour changed from my birth plan to far more medically managed, at no point did Julie feel her job was 'done' because I'd accepted medical pain relief, she stayed providing emotional and mental support, making sure the progress of interventions were informed decisions on my behalf, and that I still retained control of my labour. Unfortunately my birth plan would fully laid aside in favour of a surgical birth (due to a medical condition in my son that we had not known about) but even that potentially traumatic situation was lessened with Julie's wise words, calm energy and big hugs.After the birth Julie made sure I still felt proud and accomplished for my beautiful boy, and for the hours and hard work I had put in myself, and helped me to process, without feeling like a failure, what had happened. Come baby number 2, Julie was cheering me on again, with even more information, support and contacts as she helped me track down the information and strength I needed to achieve my VBAC, and my second son was born gently as I planned.
But it's not just been the support during my births that I gained from Julie, it's changed so much in my life. I think about and view birth differently, I talk about it differently with my friends, and I see it as special, exciting and sacred, that birth itself is awesome, not just the new little life afterward. Just recently, I instinctively dropped to my knees in front of a pregnant friend, showing her a deep squat and explaining how her pelvis would move and allow her baby to pass through, as she looked both a little surprised and completely understanding, I understood too. I remembered Julie doing the exact same thing on my lounge room floor during one of our first meetings, and I realised I'm not going to be just that slightly nutty birth crazy friend who uses real terminology relating to birth as casually as I'd run off a shopping list, I'm going to help other women achieve their ideal birth too, the same way Julie helped me achieve mine.
While I'm not yet a trained Doula, I'm involved with my friends' pregnancies, sharing, listening, teaching where I can, supporting and celebrating. I've recently had the honour of being asked to attend as a support person for my closest friend, something I never would have dreamed of doing, much less being excited about before I met Julie.
Julie's doula services may only number a few days during your pregnancy and birth ... but the blessings and wisdom will last a lifetime. I cannot recommend or thank her enough."
Sometimes when you are doula you don't always know if your work is having the desired effect, especially if the birth unfolds in a way that is different to what everyone had hoped, and especially if you are concerned that your client might be feeling any degree of trauma. These words help me realise that even when this happens, the continuity of support and care really makes all the difference to the woman and her partner, and the positive effects may even continue on into the next birth. That is tremendously encouraging.
It is wonderful to see that Miranda is really 'paying it forward' by sharing her confidence, experience and knowledge with other women, as well as beginning a doula journey of her own.
Miranda I am so honoured to be your doula - and your friend.
1 comment:
I just found out I'm pregnant. At first I was a bit scared, I'm not really close with my mother. But after reading your inspiring post. I think a doula is the perfect way to go for me.
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