This is what one of my clients had to say in response to this question:
Before birth:
* Helped me discover who I was
* Helped me let go of so much shit!!!
* Loved me
* Took us to Birth Week - a series of workshops and lectures held each year in Kallista
* Gave me birth beads and birth candles
* Filmed my blessingway
* Shared books, dvds, videos, art work and poetry with me
* Nurtured me like a mother
* Took me to the local Australian Breastfeeding Association gatherings
* Hours upon hours on the phone talking birth, life, love, relationships, spirituality, you name it!
* Taught me pelvic exercises and helped me 'map' by pelvis and understand how it moves and flexes as I move into different positions
* Took me swimming and helped me explore how to use water for easy positioning and relaxation and 'spiralling' during labour
* Transported me to heaven with stress-relieving pre-natal massages
* Gave me list of everything I'd need to get ready for the birth and baby.
During birth:
* Lent me a birth pool and birth ball and heat packs
* Laid out all the towels and drop sheet, arranged pillows, blankets, set up mattress on the floor
* Hand fed me, making me feel like a queen
* Brought me special home-made rehydration drink called 'Labourade' made from lemons from her garden that her little girls picked and helped her squeeze
* Offered me drinks through a straw
* Filled the birth pool
* Massaged me
* Held me as I shook from the surges of hormones (it sounds so small and yet it meant EVERYTHING to me)
* Helped me work through three major crises of confidence during birth
* Helped me discover who I was
* Helped me love myself
* Loved me
* Helped me surrender to birth
* Helped me find my feet and work out what my way to birth was ... I was a bit lost for a while, and her suggestions clarified for me what I wanted and what I didn't want.
* Nurtured me like a mother
* Gave my partner sleep breaks
* Bought me flowers
* Gave me encouraging pep-talks when I became impatient and exhausted and felt my limits were being tested
* Took AMAZING photos
* Sat with me when I didn't want to be alone
* Cleaned my kitchen - several times throughout my three-day labour
* Kept my bucket near me (imperative! ) for when I felt nauseous, held my forehead and wiped my face, and cleaned up after each time I vomited
* Believed in me and my ablity to see our birth through, despite the crises of confidence and how long it went for
After Birth:
* Cleaned the house, gathering up all the floor and furniture covers
* Did several loads of laundry - hung it out, brought it in, folded it
* Prepared my toilet all ready for everything I needed post-natally - clean undies, maternity pads, peri-squeeze bottle, clean cloths for cleaning drips - so that everything would be easily to hand
* Siphoned the birth pool empty, cleaned it out, let it dry in the sun, and packed it up
* Prepared a herbal bath post birth and gave us herbs to make our own in the future - available HERE
* Sat around talking and laughing with us
* Stayed until she was sure we were happy for her to go (and the house was clean xoxox)
* Helped care for bub's placenta
* Helped me learn how to hold my bub during breastfeeding and what a good latch was
* Checked in with me regularly to see how I was going physically and emotionally after birth
* Found me a Lactation Consultant when I needed extra help
* Gave me a one-year subscription to the Australian Breastfeeding Association and made sure I had the 24-hour hot-line number
* Always (and still does) shares the joy of it all.
Our family, our daughter, will always have a special place in her heart and she will always have a special place in ours for what we experienced together. She was 'with-family' every step of the way, and even now when we see her it is exciting and joyous. She helped me have the birth experience I always dreamed of - an unmedical one surrounded by loving women who get birth and more importantly who get me!
In one of our many conversations, my doula said she believes the work of a doula is to love. And the very first time we spoke she said that she believed it was just as important that a doula make the pregnant/birthing woman feel cherished/loved/special as it was for her to respect normal birth. She was just what I needed after a drought of maternal affection and respect.
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