Dr Seuss on birth (not really!)

I'm not sure of the source of this cute poem - but I am sure the wise Dr. Seuss would appreciate it!

 

Can I labour over there?
Can I labour on the chair?

No! Don't labour over there!
You cannot labour on a chair!
Lie on the bed and you will see
We have to insert this IV!

I do not like this sharp IV!

I need to move, to dance, to wee!

Obstetrician, let me be

Get your Pesce hands off me!

No! You can’t move, dance, or wee!
We must attach the ECG

Not over there, not on the chair,
Not with the ball, you’ll have a fall!

Can I labour with a doula?
Can I use some calendula?
Can I push on hands and knees?
Can I birth just how I please?

No! Not with a doula! What’s calendula?
Lie back, legs up and count to ten,
Hold your breath and push again!

No thank you, doctors, nurse, and crew,
I’d rather labour without you.
I’ll walk and labour here and there!
In the shower – everywhere!

I’ll labour standing, squatting, sitting
I’ll labour on my couch while knitting!
I’ll have a doula – I’ll have three!
They’ll let me eat and bring me tea.

Try them! Try them! You will see!
And you can shove that darned IV.